What is Purposefully Lost? (An Explanation)

In this break from the usual show, I briefly cover the backstory of this weekly journal and some frequently asked questions.

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Here’s a question for you.

Instead of living their ancestors' American dream, what if a family went off script and moved abroad to find misadventure and redefine success?

I’m James and this story is about how we flipped-turned upside down our life in 2019, from a comfortable California Dream, to one as expats in first Berlin, and now Hong Kong. My three kids (Jero, Lea, Feris), my wife Maricar, and I are the main characters.

I started this weekly journal to force reflection and keep the stuff that matters the priority.

This is Feris (4), Jero (9) and Lea (7) before we left California in 2019. I wonder if they knew how much life was going to change.

Questions I frequently get asked:

Why did you flip-turn upside down your life?

1. Take advantage of the Golden Years of parenting; when kids are no longer in diapers, but still young enough that they don't mind hanging out with us parents. When we left, Jero was 9, Lea 7, and Feris was 4. They are a bit older now.

2. To go all in on fostering shared memorable experiences that will help us come closer as a family unit and thrive as individuals.

Why is it called Purposefully Lost?

We were privileged enough to choose this life, surrounding ourselves with fresh experiences and misadventures. As the saying goes, being lost is a feature, not a bug.

Sometimes we smile, but not all the time.

What are some of these misadventures?

• Adjusting to life in an apartment with no kitchen for nearly two years. It was roughly the size of a small European parking space.

• Spending the whole night roaming the streets of Split, Croatia because our deeply sleeping kids deadbolted the door.

• Endured a three-week mandatory hotel room quarantine; fearing a steep fine and jail time for stepping out the door.

• Driving through an Icelandic overpass in whiteout conditions thinking, this is it.

• Navigating the sensory overload of a Bangkok floating market, Istanbul Grand Bazaar, and Napoli's chaos.

• Absent-mindedly losing our youngest kid in the middle of Japan's Ueno district.

• Underestimating Hong Kong's brutal humidity and combination of Twin Peaks and Violet Hill.

Are you happy with your decision?

Yes. I feel like we are getting a two-for-one deal on life. If you ask the kids, they may disagree.

Are you still in the Golden Age of parenting?

Not quite. We now have a teenager and puberty has arrived. The game has changed and we are adapting. We definitely aren’t as cool as we used to be, but we still have a few good years left.

What do you write about?

Weekly, I cover the boring day-in-the-life stuff that I'll want to remember. I talk about running. And sometimes, I'll get deep and tackle the meaning of life.

Was there a question I didn’t answer? Add a comment or send me a note.

Can you do me a favor? I would love to hear from you. Please say hello.